There are a number of clear signs you’re compatible with someone in the long run. Luckily for you, many of these indicators appear early on in a relationship. As you’ve probably experienced, there are times when you can tell from the very first drink whether or not you’ll go on a second date with that person. Other times, it takes a few weeks or even months of dating to fully recognize the signs you’re not on the same page. But if you know what to look out for, you’re much more likely to notice both the indicators of long-term relationship success and the red flags that mean you’re not an ideal match.
I’ve listed eight early signs of compatibility that could mean the person you’re dating is someone you’ll be with for a long time – maybe even forever. With a little help from a relationship expert, I’m breaking down what it means to truly be compatible with someone long-term. I’m talking physically, emotionally, and intellectually, because all three are equally important when you’re looking ahead. If you can relate to most or all of these signs, then you just might have found the one.
If you’re wondering how to distinguish a flirty crush or a passionate hookup from someone you can see an actual future with, listen up
Feeling like you can tell the person you’re dating anything is a good sign. Wanting to be completely honest with them right away is an even better one. This includes sharing aspects of your past, talking about the future, and letting them be a part of your present. It’s normal to want to dress up for the first few dates, but you know it’s real when you quickly find that you’re comfortable wearing sweatpants and no makeup in front of someone you’re seeing. On the other hand, if you constantly feel insecure about the way you look or the things you say around this person, that could be a red flag. If you can’t be your true self around someone you’re dating early on, that might mean your relationship won’t last past the honeymoon phase.
There’s a reason so many common first date topics are centered around both of your hobbies, interests, likes, and dislikes. When your date asks you what kind of movies you like, they’re doing more than making small talk. It’s important to know right off the bat whether or not you enjoy the same leisure activities, share the same core values, and are aligned on key political topics. “When you share the same passions, it’s a clear indicator that you’re a good match,” relationship expert Susan Winter told Elite Daily. While you don’t have to be the exact same person, when you have coinciding views, you’re much more likely to have a successful future together.
The way you work together to handle conflict early on in a relationship is a good indicator of how you’ll get along when problems arise down the road. If you can easily compromise about what to do on date night, that’s great. But if you’re constantly bickering or you keep re-hashing small disagreements, your arguments will only get worse as your relationship progresses. After all, it’s not really about what you’re fighting over. It’s how you deal with fights that ultimately matters.
“When you and your crush share the same sense of humor, it means you’re on the same wavelength,” Winter said. If you can’t help but laugh at their jokes, rather than having to force a smile so they think you get them, you know you two have a lot in common. Whether you’re both the dry, sarcastic type, or you LOL over the same dumb Vine compilations, finding someone to date who shares your sense of humor is key to a lasting relationship.
Having similar schedules may seem like a silly detail to pay much attention to, but making time for one another at the beginning of your relationship shows that you’re both willing to putting in effort from the get-go. Plus, if you’re always in class while they’re free and you have spare time when they have to work, you’re not even going to be able to get to know each other well enough to determine whether or not you’re compatible.
Once you’ve hooked up with someone, you can tell a lot about your future with them. I’m not talking about how good the sex was, because that can change with practice. In fact, I’m referring to the minutes immediately after you’ve done the deed. If you still want them in your bed, look forward to cuddling quietly together, and don’t mind having them in your space, they’re likely a keeper. But if they usually put their clothes on right away and head out the door before you’re even fully dressed (or vice versa), there could be a big disconnect between the physical and emotional aspects of your relationship.
“Nothing feels more comfortable than not having to explain ourselves to another person. When we’re with the right type of person, there’s ease in the natural form of communication we share,” said Winter. Because so much of your communication happens electronically, it’s important that you are in sync when it comes to Snapchats, emojis, Instagram tags, and more. If you find yourself complaining to your friends that the person you’re dating is bad at texting, that could be more than just a surface-level complaint. It might actually indicate that you don’t value communication in the same way.
Above all, listen to your gut. “For reasons you may not be able to articulate, you feel a strong sense of ease. Something in their vibe, demeanor, and attitude allows you to take a breath and present the best version of yourself. This is a good marker for future romantic success,” Winter told Elite Daily. If you have a feeling from the first date that this person is right for you, that’s always going to be a good sign. Yes, there are other aspects to consider, but if you can immediately imagine a future with the person you’re dating, you’re much more likely to see that vision come to fruition.
And whether you’re the type that loves to text your boo little updates throughout the day, or you prefer a lengthy phone call before bed, it’s not only the in-person conversations that matter
These eight signs of compatibility won’t necessarily guarantee your future together, but they certainly mean you’re headed in the right direction.